The man explained that he and his brother met with three groups in their mother’s village to discuss the burial arrangements: the men of the kindred, the women of the kindred, and the women married into the kindred.
According to him, each of the groups had its own set of requirements before the burial proceedings could move forward. He later shared a list given to them by one of the groups.
The list contained several items, most of them food and refreshments expected to be provided for members of the group.
The post drew strong reactions on social media, with many users questioning why bereaved families should face significant financial demands while preparing to bury a loved one.
Emeka Nobis, whose mother died after a battle with cancer that he said cost the family millions of naira in medical expenses, shared the list on Facebook while calling for cultural practices that no longer serve communities to be reviewed.
He wrote:
“Today, we went again to my mum’s village — my brother and I. The first visit is what is called ‘Mbete Akwa.’ It means to cry about the bereaved. The second visit is called ‘Okwu Ozu.’ It means conversations concerning the dead.
“Today, we met with three sets of people:
- the umunna (men of the kindred)
- the umuada (women of the kindred)
- the alurudi (women married into the kindred)
“Each of these groups has its demands. We got the demands of the first two sets on our first visit. Today, we got the list of demands from the third set.
“Since my mum died at 71, she’s deemed to be in the topmost category of deaths. A cow has been demanded.
“Thankfully, with wisdom, we’ve been having meaningful conversations concerning these demands. I’ve kept my cool with a smiley face, navigating these conversations.
“Why am I documenting these things?
“Firstly, to share my experiences concerning burial in the part of Igboland I come from. I deem certain rituals involved in burials as totally unnecessary, and I still maintain my stand. By experiencing it firsthand, I’m now knee-deep in it to understand its significance firsthand.
“Secondly, to prepare the hearts of anyone who will walk this path. It’s project management that requires emotional intelligence to navigate.
“Thirdly, culture can be modified. It’s left to us to challenge these practices as the years go by. I’m pretty sure that it definitely will happen.”
