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Renowned Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has opened up about her battle with depression and how it nearly silenced her love for storytelling. Speaking in an interview with CNN Africa, the award-winning writer reflected on a difficult season in her life when she could not write fiction.
“I was fighting depression. In that period, just deeply unhappy. And there are ways to try and hide your unhappiness, but you know it’s there. It’s a constant sort of shadow with you. And it’s not a good place to be,” Adichie admitted.
She revealed that losing the ability to write fiction—the craft she has always cherished—was one of the most painful parts of that struggle.
“So in the years that I couldn’t write — and really not being able to write fiction when fiction is a thing that you deeply love — it’s just a terrible place to be,” she said.
To cope, Adichie threw herself into other activities, often saying yes to engagements she would normally have declined.
“I did a number of things. I tried to distract myself. I said yes to many more things than I ordinarily would because I just thought, the writing is not happening, okay, why don’t I just go and give the speech? And part of it was also, maybe if I go, then I’ll get inspired… but then I wouldn’t. Then I’d come back and be miserable.”
During that period, books and poetry became her refuge.
“I read the books I love. I read a lot more poetry in that period because I think poetry really helps with language. But also in the end, it’s just about waiting and hoping. You’re not in control of this thing.”
For Adichie, creativity feels almost spiritual.
“There are stories that are — so I call it the ancestors and the spirits speaking to me. So they’re really speaking to me now. And I’m very happy to be running around and singing and dancing for this novel, Dream Count, because it means a lot to me.”
Now on the other side of that dark season, she expressed deep gratitude for rediscovering her voice and completing her latest work.
“I’m grateful that I finished it, finally. I’m grateful that it’s out. I’m grateful that it’s found its readers. I’m grateful that, in some ways, really, honestly, it’s kind of everything I hoped it would be.”
