Michelle Obama has opened up about a parenting disagreement she and her husband, former U.S. President Barack Obama, had while raising their daughters, Malia and Sasha.
During Wednesday’s episode of The Light Podcast, the former First Lady spoke with her older brother, Craig Robinson, and social psychologist Jonathan Haidt about sleep-training methods, specifically the Ferber method — a technique designed to teach babies how to self-soothe and sleep independently. Popularized by Dr. Richard Ferber in 1985, the method involves letting babies cry for gradually increasing intervals before comforting them.
As Haidt shared his own experience using the Ferber method with his son, Michelle admitted that she and Barack initially disagreed about trying it with their daughters, now 26 and 24.
“I didn’t want to do it,” she confessed. “Barack did it, and I don’t know that I could have — I wasn’t sure about the idea of just letting the little person you love cry and cry.”
Michelle said her hesitation stemmed partly from emotional challenges in the postpartum period, which she suspected were linked to hormonal changes. Still, they decided to give the method a try, with Barack taking the lead on nighttime duties.
“We set it up where Barack took the night shift. I went to bed — which helped because I actually got some sleep,” the Becoming author said.
To cope with the crying, Michelle admitted she had to physically cover her ears while their baby cried, but ultimately, the method worked.
“It took no longer than a week — really just after the first two nights — because we started early,” she explained. One of their daughters had recently weaned from breastfeeding around four or five months old, prompting the couple to try the method.
“She learned quickly,” Michelle noted. “The sooner you start removing the symptom and begin implementing the action, the more quickly the child responds.”
In a separate, lighthearted moment from a previous episode of the podcast, Michelle also joked about why she’s relieved not to have had a son. When guest Angie Martinez asked why she and Barack never tried for a boy to complement their two daughters, Michelle responded: “Because he would’ve been a Barack Obama!”
Martinez said a “baby Barack” would have been amazing, prompting Michelle to laugh and reply, “I would’ve felt for him,” suggesting the weight of living up to his father’s legacy would’ve been a lot to bear.